to pack my emotions and feelings when i go to work.
to be extra cautious not to let it spill.
to spill when i rched hm.
putting up a front..
to deceive and hypnotize myself tt it's not affecting me,
to look as tho i'm alright.
one day.. you'll get so sick and tired of it.. you'll jus suffer a breakdown.
like today.
ppl claimed tt it's a moodswing, wadeva, bcos it's not. it's fucking not. after hearing an accumulation of some things, after accumulating wad mentioned above, it's alr hard for me enough not to lose control. even tho wad i did was merely a change of attitude. even tho i did nearly lose control in there. wadz worse is i regret the moment i did it, and i hated myself for doing it instantly, but anw.. wads done cannot be undone.
den i realized the real reason y i regret doing it, and i promised myself tt i will nv let it affect me anymore. bcos.. it's no longer my business. if i were to do it again, i'll only let the ppl ard me suffer.. in this case.. i apologized to those who got affected, i'm sorry.
contradicting as it is, i will still continue with the pretendance.
and lastly, control my emotions.
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