i dun deserve this.

ignore my previous post.
wadever the revenge thing i said, in the end i know i'm not capable of doing tt. i'm jus playing it in my head.. and i cannot imagine the outcome will be if i put it into action. anw, what comes ard, goes ard. whatever revenge plan i had, i'd be hurting myself in the end. it's not worth it

ppl come to know.. but i only told one who's closest to me. others might guess.. but i have no obligations to say yes or no. i dun wan it to be like as if i'm spreading a rumour ard, trying to gain sympathy. yucks.


all the while, better.
i finally move on.
my feelings? rest in peace..

Vengeance

i will nv forget the image registered in my head.
but.
i have erased all the memories.

all the while in my life, nv did i erase my memories like this, as i always treasures it.
honored?
.............................. how about doubled of this honor?
bcos i'm having evil thoughts in my mind now. for so long, such donkey years, had i tried on taking revenge; as i always only imagined it, nv actually put it in action on someone.
now, do you think i will do it, to another person??

memories erased, i felt relieved
revenge taken, i'd feel better??

mayb i will do it.
screw the basturd(s)

Drink.Drank.Drunk.

Why.
i can see tt i'm having more n more nightlife posts. clubbing.. pubbing..
and here i am, gg to share yet another nightlife again.
lol

- conscience tells me: stop drinking if you do not know your limits

went clubbing with my colleagues on fri nite at a club called dragonfly.. it's like a live band club there? and err i dun really like the music there man.. the band actually plays chi, cantonese and a few of the english songs at intervals of i think half an hr. seriously.. i cldnt see any guys/girls of my age there! all those uncles.. ah bengs.. i felt so out of place.. so i started drinking glasses of alcohol fast and furiously to divert my self consciousness from creeping in.

so wow, thanks to the alcohol.. i cldnt ve well rmb wad really happened... all i noe is i'm huggin diff ppl.. guys n ladies.. luckily i still be able to distinguish tt e ppl i hugged is not strangers, but ppl i noe. err i wasnt able to stand properly oso.. and shit. i muz hav looked like a mad lady in my drunkard state. image ruined man! zzzz... whatever la.

- i told myself: drink more to further your limits.

conclusion.. i dun mind chilling at there. but NOT clubbing.

d.d to life

my moto:

d.d to life - Drink and Dance to life

fri:

benjamin is bout to get enlisted to army soon, so we were like holdin a gathering b4 he goes in! as usual, timbre- not arts house but substation. simply love the music there, sort of like rock n roll. and the crowd there seems so much younger than those at arts house.. probably cos smu's nearby? saw a lot of xiao didi lor...

was also amazed at how guys' eyes worked. scanning for pretty babes wherever they are at, took only about seconds to recognize the chics, and then forever to talk about them. zzz..... guys = wolves...

sat:

supposingly spending our late nite at dempsey?? i was eager to see how issit like.. but to our disppointment, it's not exactly the type of place me n ting wld like to hang out at.. that place is toooo quiet!! more of a place for couples or families. nice dating spot tho.

dempsey hill!

ting

the strolls ard dempsey made our stomach growls with hunger!! settled our supper at clark quay's tcc.. we ordered sandwiches and my sandwich, i forgot wadz the name.. chicken n coffee one.. is not nice! ex summore.. hai... blame me for choosing tcc!!

and so, we're not giving away our late nights away lidat! we muz have fun! headed to china1, and the place is damn packed!! and the live band rocks!! woo!! i'm loving it man.. and we got high even without the alcohol, partially cos of the nice music, partially cos we saw one indian man with his hilirious dance moves WAHAHAHAA... i kept mimicking him lol.

the night begins like this.. i feel like a bitch, and i will continue doing it until i got tired.

not to mention this ang moh guy kept approaching me despite my numerous rejections.. er so scary. i cant managed to shake him off until he and his frens left china1 themselves.. -_-" and he's not handsome la haha. otherwise..????? =X

oso stumbled into this nice indian guy.. who offered to help us take photos and look after our bags.. wow so nice!! and i got a bit seh after drinking jus one long island (wth?!?!), he asked me to drink more water to purge out the alcohol i guess. sucha a nice guy rite? =)) danced with a few guys too.. and they were quite friendly. phew.. wad a nice way to put an end to my sat night..

oh opps is to start my sunday morning haha. ting- we nd to have more nightlife like this!!

Hindrance

DAMMIT.


all the time i had been moving a step forward, obstacles will just come into my way, forcing me to take one step backwards again.
and i kept hearing things i didnt want to hear. man, another step backwards.
somehow it jus feels like there's this barricade there, hindering my way.
FUCK.


lets jus see wad i will do aft tolerating all these, aft accumulating all the tolerance.

CPF Sports Day/happy birthday yusri!

CPF Sports Day 2008

the day was hot hot hot hot HOT!!!! i was sweating alr upon rching there.. and it was a sunny weather tt day.. i can smell sun block lotion on the girls!!

cpf staff occupied the whole stadium... so bishan sports stadium belongs to us!!

hx's sexy mao.. wahahaha

anw hx n me r the only representatives from our division.. and well, we were like blur blur wondering ard until he found the correct spot where we were sppose to be sitting at. was a bit irritated by the poms poms the cheerleaders r holding onto, bcos they were standing right behind us and the poms poms kept brushing my back.

stupid poms poms! heng i nv join the cheerleading hahaha.. i felt stupid jumping ard yelling cheers..!

cheerleaders from other department.. GO! WE R THE BEST!!! den i'm like duh.. wadeva..

watched the relays and suddenly i felt a pinch of regret.. i shld have joined!! ahh.. think i'd get better results if i'm joining! nvm! if i'm not quitting nxt yr i'd join again!

telematch is the last item to go.. and it proved me surprisingly wrong.. i tut the telematch was quite fun! all the idiotic images which kept running in my head throughout the whole day vanished until the telematch started and i was out there in the track..

there were like 12 tasks for 12 of us..? and we were sppose to pick one for ourselves. all the good ones were taken, leaving us no choice but to take the less embarrassing ones out of wad's left over!! i rmb there's one which u have to place a bean bag on ur head and balancing it while moving forward.. so stupid sia! and the other one is to KIAP a bean bag in btw ur knees whilst trying to move forward w/o dropping the bean bag.. (hahaha.. this action is damn hilirious lor!) i chose spinning e hula-hoop ard ur waist for 10x.. better than the ones above right??? can show my skill hehe. hx chose the one running backward.. LOL. i think tis is funny oso.

and u noe wad? we got 1st!!! WEEE!!!

reward: a shoe bag. nice. have been longing for one since long ago but now i got a free one!


Timbre again. Yusri's bdae!

hanged out with the long-time-no-see boys at timbre!!
desmond, yusri, kevinkam, angelis n me. too bad melvin n beng cant make it.

soldier boy desmond. haha

the goodfellas.. music gd tt nite!

us at toilet cam whore again

soldier boys yusri n desmond

stupidface1

the always delicious timbre's pizza!! yum!!! i'm missing it alr!

the guys

happy birthday yusri! i grant u 3 extra ears haha.

interesting tt night. we only got to know tt it's yusri's bdae at the time.. a pity! so it's gonna be a bdae w/o a cake................. BUT NVM!!! after getting the goodfellas to sing a bdae song for him, they actually gathered all the bdae guys/girls to come on stage and do some dirty dancing!!! HAHAHA!! so happening man! yusri was so shy.. n they were like forcing him to pole danced the other bdae gal lol.

in the midst of the game 2 ang moh ladies suddenly showed up at the stage cheering and yelling in an absurb way.. stunned!! think they got too high man. one of e ladies even danced with yusri.. n i can see her touching every of his upper body.. WOO! tt's er.... a well done feverish performance man.

grp pic with bdae boi.. angelis e phtographer! gugu us.. forgot to ask some1 to take a complete grp photo for us!

wa.. sports day sia..

i'm going to my company's sports day tm. -_-"


fuck. and i dun wanna go man. 1st time in my life i wish i couldnt make it to sports day. i'm not participating relays u see, 1st time again for not participating relays but actually something else. if i assumed correctly, something "childish" else. u noe those primary sch sports day which u r forced to join in some match and had to run stupidly blind folded to and fro overcoming obstacles in the way to reach your fellow team mates???!

i imagined tt now.
and i feel like puking.


can i jus.. take mc tm???
*Wail~

Anger

if i had this kind of father, i dunno whether it's a bless or i'm just ill-fated.



... mayb both.

a myth is born.

got enchanted by the cool breeze hitting my face so gently ever, sweeping my hair so gracefully.. and suddenly, it stops. just as my premonition visions warned me, i chose to ignore it.

i was too confident, which was y it leads to huge disappointment.

so den i was threw back into a state of shock which i shld hav expected, as the rain poured down forcefully upon me, soaking me wet inside out. it jus sinks to davy jone's locker.. almost drowning. it seems hard to accept, budden again, it seems hard to prevent. i can sense the determination in the ans.

something like a figure had materialized before my eyes, and now it's fading itself away..

the rain got heavier, this time turning into a storm, a heavy storm which resorted me to run for shelters, whereby i'm protected from the harsh rainstorm, whereby i felt so much reassured. A gratitude for these shelters i had yet deeply expressed.. which i think a "thank you" is aint enough. all i can do is to buoy up and stay strong to return their favor.

..which i think i had already done so. =)


memories still remain, whilst building just a friendship.
a kind of situation i have nv experience b4, but i'm still willing to try.
i dun wanna lose any more friends like i did, so many times before.
most imptly, i dun wanna regret.

from ting's blog:

"time pass. people change. feeling subsides. memories fade.
I think, i'm ready to move on."

thanks for the memories.

i will to, soon.
wait for me, my future.. i'm gg to catch up wit u.


to finish, if u ask me have i ever regretted knowing this person, i smiled.